Collective Wisdom

Our Holiday Light

Lila will be five months old next week, she is lifting her head, found her own language and actually giggled for the first time this weekend.  As Lila grows so do we, and together we have found our balance.  We can decipher the cries, trust our instincts and each other.  While still tiny, our little girl squeals with delight when bounced on the bed and has graduated to actually being able to jump in her "jenny jumper."

Before Lila was born, like all parents we worried- my sleepless nights were caused less by my bulging belly than the anxiety about what would happen when we brought our baby home.  Having entered parenthood after most of our friends and my baby sister, we have been blessed with the kind of collective wisdom that is not available in books or even online because it is personal and given by those who know us best. This trove of motherly and fatherly guidance is dispensed by our family and friends with love and shared experience.  From the minute we shared our news we have been wrapped in a security blanket of support, advice and reassurance.  Every parent needs to find his own way but it is certainly comforting to have so many people shining lights down our path.

Our "Light Shiners" at our wedding 2009

Lila finds her balance





My mom and sister welcome baby cousin Paul (1978)

My sister and teacher with baby Jack (2003)

Baby's Breath

On the North Fork with Aunt Kelly

Our little girl turned four months old today and we have quicky found that Lila's spirit is contagious.  We had a cocktail party last Friday evening- Lila's first!  She was the perfect little hostess and brought a smile to every guest.  We are blessed with our little girl- and we know she has a happy future of infusing her spirit into all she meets!  Whether we are taking her on her first tour of the North Fork vineyards or teaching her how to make a perfect party spread, Lila is taking it all in with big baby breaths!

Unfortunately this hostess in training is currently laying on the couch next to me with raspy breaths as she works through her first cold- I want to take it away from her- the congestion, cough, the torture we put her through with saline drops and the bulb syringe- all too familiar for any parent but so foreign to a little baby who just wants to fall into sweet slumber.  When she wakes in the middle of the night I find the best way to get Lila back to sleep is to put her on my chest, and selfishly these are my favorite moments with my daughter- the moments when I literally feel as if I am breathing through her.  I wish I could provide clear passages for Lila now- to do it for her.  Lila doesn't have a fever and our trusted pediatrician assures me that she is simply fighting her first cold.  Lila is such a happy baby- through all of her coughs and sniffles- Lila smiles- she lights up our world. So while I want to take it away I remind myself that this cold will build up her resistance - and undaunted little Miss Lila smiles through it all.

Party Prepping with "Aunt" Virginia

Enjoying the party with mommy-to-be "Aunt" Dre

Bell Jars and Fireflies

I have two glass bell jars whose contents I change seasonally- after Labor Day the summer shells and sand make way for small pumpkins and lady apples - which after Thanksgiving will be replaced by pinecones and small ornaments- microcosms of the seasons temporarily captured.

Lila turned three months old last week and suddenly we are thrust into a routine of balancing schedules and our little girl's daily care.  My maternal instincts pull me home to the safety of our proverbial bell jar- where I can control the environment and Lila's every interaction.  I long for our times together, the weekends, the early dawn when we bring her into bed - our boat in a safe harbor before we set sail on our separate ways.

As much as we want to capture these moments, like a firefly in a jar, the pleasure is fleeting.  While Lila is still so small we know that by gently easing her into the big world the more quickly she will find the wings that will bring her home.

"They Grow so Fast..."

If we had a nickle for every time we have heard these familiar words in Lila's short eleven weeks her piggy bank would runneth over.  In these early months of Lila's life we have grown to appreciate the sentiment and come to realize that the birth of a child evokes such powerful emotion- taking parents of grown children back to those first days when both they and their babies were filled with wide-eyed wonder.  We are in those wonder days- where we just stare into Lila's beautiful blue eyes, as each day they become more clear and stay open a little bit longer.  So we thank you- our friends, colleagues, the waitress at the diner, the fans at the football game, the commuters on the train - the parents who look at Lila then with palpable emortion turn to their own still small children and say, "you used to be that tiny," thank you for reminding us to take that pause and to savor every minute and baby smile- even during those blurry-eyed late night feedings. And to our precious Lila, we promise to cherish every second of you and to pause and soak up those simplest of moments, for it does go so very fast.



Changing Course

As I ran the Philadelphia Half Marathon yesterday, about four miles in I realized the course had changed - Greg and I had run the Half the past two years together but this year he was waiting for me at the finish with our two-month old, Lila.  The run was hard, harder than it had been in the past, but the new course with its unfamiliar turns provided distraction as the sun pounded down and the day grew hotter by the mile. Runners began to succumb to the heat and had to retreat to the sidelines.  I realized early on that this year was not going to be about my finish time -  but about something very different.  I had to dig deep and my fingers frequently went to my "L" necklace for motivation as I neared the finish line. As I crossed that finish line of course I noted the time on the clock but was much more focussed on finding Greg and Lila. Indeed, the course has changed.

Tastemaking

Eataly

Before Lila was born we wrote her a letter in which we promised to be the best parents we could be, admiting that while we will not always have all the answers and will undoubtedly make some mistakes along the way, we vowed to give her as many experiences as possible.  We are trying to keep our promise- in her short seven weeks Lila has been to four states, taken ferry and taxi rides and even dipped her baby toes in the swimming pool.  There is no moss gathering on this little girl!  So we will continue to take her to the places we love, and while this means there will be no shortage of Temple tailgating and Sunday football, farmer's markets and restaurant dining, we most look forward to Lila taking us to all of the places she wants to go.

Hoot Hoot!

Gramercy Tavern

Waiting For It

We spend so much time with our eyes and minds on the future- what we want to do, what we want to become, and some days it seems we may never get there.  In the past year I got married, turned forty and gave birth to our beautiful baby girl.  I spent many a day thinking that the dreams I had for a family and a home may never come to fruition.  As I sit here now looking at lovely Lila asleep in her swing, those days of longing have been replaced by an overwhelming sense of peace.  While it took me awhile, I have realized that we ultimtely hold the key to our own happiness- we just need to be willing to trust enough and be patient enough to wait for it.