These are Days…
you'll remember, it's true, that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you...
Dear Fifteen-Year-Old Girl,
As I sit here on the patio on this beautiful summer day before we take you to your last year at Camp Tockwogh, you are still sleeping, and we are in a brief lull before we say goodbye again. With every year there is more stretching of the ties that bind us, that rubber band that always brings you back but also lets you go farther and longer. This has been the summer of hellos and goodbyes…packing and unpacking. Like a revolving door, lots of quick flips from big trips to family get togethers, long weekends away and everything in between. And it has been glorious. As I do, I stop and start these letters to you and here we are in late August… the last weekend before the last of summer. I was just out trimming some of the flowers, those with their final pops of color and as the butterflies flitted about, I could hear you singing in the shower, belting out your favorites and sounding so perfectly carefree. I often wonder if in over its hundred plus year life, if other young girls filled our house with song the way you do? Our house and summer have felt full with activity and so many moments of anticipation and homecomings.
These are the days my sweet girl, this year so much has bloomed in you. Maybe it is the confidence that comes after you climb the mountain of the first year of upper school, or what comes back with you after traveling 4,000 miles away to North Africa, whatever the spark, it is a true joy to watch this new blossom. You have grown surer of yourself, more curious and focused.
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| Bryant Park, NYC |
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| Morocco |
Your first year of Upper School was not without adjustment, balancing more schoolwork, choir, vocal and piano lessons, sports, and play rehearsals, made for lots of full days and what felt like very quick evenings together. Our tradition of “watching something” together every night faded as you worked hard at your desk late into the evening. Your showers are longer and have become your refuge, accompanied by your intensive blow-drying sessions. I recognize the importance of this time for you… time to think, space for all that is swirling through your growing mind. As I watch your evening Hoverboard whirl through the house, with your AirPods, I can’t help but think perhaps they bring you the same type of peace as when we would push you in your stroller round and round our apartment hallway when you were a baby. The teen wind-down, that has become your ritual.
Moments that were routine are now savored by me. This past weekend, the last of summer when I asked you what movie you wanted to watch, you picked Pitch Perfect... a favorite we have watched over and over. As we curled up on the couch, you, me and Piglet and hummed along to the familiar songs with your legs twisted up with mine and Pigs purring away, it could not have been more perfect.
It seems that every day there are new “firsts,” new training “wheels,” though this time the wheels are on a car, not a bike. You have become quite skilled at our discreet drives around the neighborhood. We have discovered that the cemetery down the road is a perfect spot to let you practice your skills, and I must say I am impressed. Your steely confidence and command of the wheel is reassuring knowing that your driver’s license is now less than a year away. Becoming a passenger on your journey continues to be a shift, I drive less, letting you take the wheel and trusting that you will make the right turns and choices. As your Grandpa David used to say, it is the journey not the destination, and if you go the wrong way you just need to figure out how to get back on course. So, I continue to let you drive a little more each day… at least metaphorically trusting that you will know when to accelerate and when to put on the breaks and when to make that U-turn.
This 10th grade year has brough more shifting gears, new classes, new challenges, and taking a break from your boyfriend of seven months. We have stumbled a bit navigating it all, I do my best to give you the space you need while reminding you that you don’t have all the answers and neither do we but together we can help you to make the right decisions.
As we work through it all, the comings and goings, the ups and the downs, our home continues to be our anchor, the calm in the quiet and in the storm. The place where we cook, host our friends and family, recharge and unwind. Your love of cooking and insatiable appetite for fruit and vegetables, especially broccoli, makes me think that all of that pureeing and freezing of vegetable cubes when you were a baby may have been worth the effort. From our traditional Thanksgiving feasts, Christmas Eve fondue and morning cinnamon rolls, to your annual Valentine party with heart-shaped pizzas and the chocolate fountain, I am so grateful for the traditions we have made together. And as you say, while I may have lost hosting the annual Halloween party, we will always have Valentine’s Day, and that really is quite sweet.
Time at home this past year has been balanced by travel and adventure. As I realized I finished last year’s letter to you in November, I’ll pick up where I left off capturing moments since then. We hosted our biggest Thanksgiving yet, with an extended table full of our friends and family. Lots of delicious cooking, you and Grama made our favorite lasagna for our “night before Eve dinner”- a new tradition. And as always, you are in charge of the fine chopping (nuts are your specialty and you don’t like cutting potatoes- too hard) and the sweet potato casserole. And of course, no Thanksgiving eve is without the annual post-desert pumpkin chuck! What the neighbors must think of us… though I think after eleven years they are used to our holiday revelry and the official holiday turn.
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| Eve Lasagna |
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| Big Day Prep |
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| Pumpkin Chuck! |
Once the pumpkins were gone, we decked the halls and whirled into Christmas. Though I am quite sure you started decorating your room in early November. Your Christmas spirit has always been filled to the brim and bubbling over. I love the traditions we have made from gingerbread houses to our New York holiday twirl with the Matsons, and plenty of Nutcracker and festive choir concerts sprinkled in.
As I look through the photos of last year, as always, my photo reel overflows with moments of celebration and holiday revelry. We ushered in 2025 with a dual party- you and your friends in the basement and us upstairs- though there were plenty of moments of cross-over around the fondue, seafood and ham party stations! This old house of ours sure gets a workout during the “high holidays” and right on through into Valentines’ Day for the party you promise you “will never get up.” And I agree, you and your “core four” sharing treats and exchanging gifts is the sweetest thing. As spring came into view, so did you on the stage- dancing and master of your hula hoop with Leila in the school musical- Pippin. In your red and gold, you lit up the stage and as always commanded a stunning presence. No spring is complete without our annual spring break excursion- this year we stayed stateside but still had quite a journey for your first trip to the West Coast. We flew into LA and stayed at the historic Miramar Hotel, just down the street from the Santa Monica pier. We explored the beach and soaked up the beautiful Pacific views before a stop at Universal Studios and then off to Palm Springs to meet up with Miss Liz. You loved the vibe of the desert and of course plenty of tan time. We explored the sites, with a fantastic ride on the aerial tram from the Coachella Valley up to the top of San Jacinto Peak. The views of the Chino Canyon Cliffs were breathtaking. Our California adventures continued with a day hiking and exploring Joshua Tree National Park and finding Skull Rock.
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| Aerial Tram in Palm Springs |
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| Skull Rock- Joshua Tree |
Back home, with a new US state to crossed off your travels, we were soon off to Vermont to celebrate Grama’s birthday with the Rizzos and then home again to welcome Grauntie for a double-header birthday and Easter celebration.
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| Celebrating Grama |
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| Happy Easter Birthday to Grauntie |
As our very full spring turned to summer, you put a big bow on your first year of Upper School, one where you worked so hard and found your footing and new confidence. Confidence that would come in handy for your trip of a lifetime not to your next state or country but continent! On June 21st, you and father as a chaperone, boarded the bus to head to JFK with your Philadelphia Girl’s Choir for the big journey to Morocco! I lived vicariously and with a full heart following your travels from afar – anxiously awaiting updates and photos. From Casablanca to Rabat to Tangier and Marrakesh.., you all immersed yourselves in the culture and beauty of the magical beaches and deserts. Tremendous experiences like visiting a local Rabat school and learning to write your names in Arabic, visits to exploring royal palaces, contributing generously to the local merchants and an epic camel ride. Who could have believed that the little girl who loved to sing in the bathtub would one day be singing in majestic Morocco?
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| Morocco! |
With a few days to regain your domestic sea legs back home, and a bit of 4th of July celebrating, once again your suitcases were flipped and re-packed! And we were off on our Fam Jam vacation up at Woodloch in the Poconos! A long overdue reunion with the Beards and Rizzos. We frolicked all around Lake Teddyuskung, you and Stella sailed, we swam and floated and tried our best to make a dent in the daily activity sheets. From bumper boats, trivia nights and go karts we had packed it in and came together for dinner every night. Our Fam Jam was extra special as we were able to celebrate Jeremy and Kelly’s 50th birthdays and toast them together! 1975 was a very special year! 
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| Poconos Fam Jam |
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| Happy 15!! |
A few days home and then you were off again down to the shore to celebrate Alexandra’s birthday- a lovely beach week tradition for you and the core four. Back for yet another turn, I washed multiple bathing suits and switched out your beach bag for your trunk for your last year at Camp Tockwogh. What a very special place you have found on the shores of the Chesapeake, five summers full of memories, learning to sail and spreading your ever-growing wings always open to trying new things.
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| Tockwogh! |
One more summer flip of the trunk for the suitcase for a long-awaited visit to meet your Great Aunt Sara in Pensacola, Florida! Your Great-Grandmother, Doris Virginia’s sister, Aunt Sara with her musical career and passion, has always been a big supporter of you in your musical and performance pursuits. We met up with Grama, Aunt Kelly and Henry and had a wonderful time listening to Aunt Sara, still a spitfire at ninety-two, share all her stories of coming to New York City in the 50s and becoming part of a famous touring girls singing group The Charmonaires. A very special trip for us all to see Aunt Sara and her family on the beautiful Gulf Coast.  |
| Celebrating with Aunt Sara |
Back home for one last unpack and get you ready for 10th grade. Your second year of Upper School flew in with you settling in- no longer the youngsters; your confidence continues to grow as the days fly by.
My sweet girl, as you sail into this year of fifteen, this is what I know to be true, I could never have dreamed of you. You are my one true thing, and while I often miss the days when you were little, I cherish each day as you grow and stretch into your grown-up self. You need me less while at the same time needing me more. Like finding sand dollars on the beach, I treasure our talks and found moments, sharing our favorite oysters, snuggling up on the couch to watch Only Murders in the Building or cooking a delicious dinner together. You are finding your way and just as we wrote in the letter to you on the day you were born, we will keep encouraging you to lean into challenges, lead with kindness and give you every opportunity to shine that light of yours.
As from the song in our favorite show, I will always be your lighthouse and not a hovercraft. I will do my best to guide you and keep you safe, while at the same time helping you find the way to go far on your own. Be brave and know you can continue to do hard things and find both success and surprise along the way.
Just as when you were little, my lullabies to you continue and are eternal.
“Sail from the day to the wonders awaiting you out there... off, little one, chase the wind on the waves. Adventure is calling, so go and be brave, but if you get lost as you’re tossed in the dark of the sea, look for me. I will wait at the shore for you; I will weather each storm standing by 'til safe you return from the night. My love is a lighthouse so darling look for the light..."
