“I feel it all, I feel it all, the wings are wide…. I know more than I knew before…” -- Feist
In this time of devices at the ready to capture every moment and instantly share with the world if one should choose, I think about the impact of these photos on our memories. The first time I began to share our family journey on this site seven years ago, I wrote about “Capturing It,” and over the years I have written about the balance between being in the moment versus the behind the lens observer. As anyone who knows me can attest, I am often on that observing end, hence very few images of me on this blog. While I don’t question my active participation in our life, I do wonder what I may be missing.
Lila turned seven this summer, and as I do every year around her birthday, I took out the letter that Greg and I wrote to her just before she was born. In this letter, we promised that while we wouldn’t always have all the answers, we promised to give her as many experiences as we could.
The past months have provided a bounty of experiences. I smile as I read my last post about committing to writing more often- creating the narrative to frame the countless photos on my camera roll. I missed that mark. Once again it has been months, and perhaps my delinquency may be attributed to the wealth of experiences we were privileged to share with our growing girl.
Our year began with the gift of a trip of a lifetime to Disney World from Grauntie, with Aunt Beth and Stella, followed by spring break in Europe, a 7th birthday party carnival extravaganza, and summer visits to the Ginny BBQ, Grama and Lila spending a magical summer week together, the Beards trip to Philly and a beautiful long weekend visiting the Rizzos and Grama in Vermont. Check the box on experiences for 2017 and we aren’t even through…
So with all of these experiences- how do I inspire Lila to feel it all, and to remember how it felt to walk through the gates of the happiest place on earth, to dance in front of the Eiffel Tower as Paris’s twilight ignited the iconic tower’s twinkling lights, the invigorating chill of a spring Mediterranean sea on her small toes, the taste of her first Virginia BBQ corn dog and the cotton candy she and Stella devoured together in Hershey Park, the sight of Mona (in a very crowded gallery amidst many others more focused on capturing selfies with this famous face then actually appreciating her), and the feel
of accomplishment as she first found her balance on two wheels.
Last month I spent a Friday afternoon in New York, soaking
up what felt like stolen moments in the city where I have spent the most years
of my life and the place that will always pull me back. As I walked through the Village - the same
streets my graduate school self timidly first explored over twenty years ago,
now envelop me in the comfort of familiarity.
I walk past Washington Square where I received my graduate degree, the
restaurant where we scraped together spare change for a falafel splurge, the library
where I spent many a late night in the “stacks,” and I find my step
slowing. I want to breath it all in,
every food truck smell, the early evening sun bouncing off the buildings and
the electricity of Friday night in the Village.
It is the decades that have taught me to breath more deeply.
Lila’s school kicks off the official start of the year with a celebratory assembly. Approximately two weeks after the first day of school, ushered in by the ceremony of bagpipes and fanfare, every student, accompanied by the faculty, marches in with his or her class. A pushover for pomp and circumstance, and defenseless to the horn of a bagpipe, I always tear up when I watch the ceremony. As the class president reads his remarks in a letter to the “future self” of his younger classmates, encouraging them to enjoy and appreciate every moment of the journey that awaits them, I think about what I want to add to that letter we wrote to our baby girl the day before she made her entrance into the world.
Dear Seven-Year-Old Girl,
Look around and look long, look long at the world around you and the moments that come to define you, save those images and lock them into your memory. Smell those cakes and Sunday dinners, the Friday night popcorn and the campfires. Savor the taste of the buttery croissant and icy root beer float, and keep that palette open for all the tastes yet to discover. Listen intently to the words of your favorite songs, the church bells, and the crickets as you fall asleep. Hold tight to that feeling of when you scored your first soccer goal, flipped off the diving board and all those Christmas mornings. We promise to continue to create journeys, some planned and some spontaneous, and we will follow you on yours. I will continue to take the photos but encourage you to give them their depth. Color outside the lines every chance you get, take that rocky road, and use every color in your paint box and tool in your arsenal as you chart your course. You have only just begun, but what a beautiful start you have had. We are so very proud of you.
Love,
Your Mom and Dad
More Moments....
Baking and Tasting with Claire- August 2017
Lila's 7th Birthday Carnival
Paris- March 2017
Le Tour Eiffel!!
Cousins! July 2017
Nice, March 2017
Nice Beach Frolic with Miss Liz
Nice, France- March 2017
Bathing Beauties- Lila and Stella- July 2017
Corn Dog with Grauntie- Ginny BBQ- June 2017
Hershey Park- July 2017
Hershey Park- July 2017
Birthday Bike- July 2017
Vermont Exploring with Henry and Ernie- August 2017
“She comes in colors everywhere… she’s like a rainbow….”The Rolling Stones
It has been far too long since I have attempted to capture
the shifting hues of our daily life.I
have sat down no fewer than a dozen times with intentions of writing- only to
get lost in the next thing.It may be
February but I am making the belated resolution to slow down, and both enjoy
and preserve the moments of our accelerating life.
Lila's 6th Birthday Fairy Luncheon
Since I last wrote, Lila completed Kindergarten and has
officially reached the 100 days mark of 1s Grade; as any parent
knows a day worthy of great fanfare and celebration.In between these scholastic transitions, we
headed to Michigan at the end of last May to celebrate Grauntie’s retirement, Lila
returned to Camp Cricket for a summer of swimming, tennis and golf,and was
bestowed the title of “Little Miss Responsibility” at the end of season
banquet (we think it may have been because she brought her handy first aid kit
to camp every day). And of course we
cannot forget the magical Fairy Tea luncheon given to celebrate Lila’s 6th
birthday. We punctuated summer with a return to Cape Cod with Grama for another
blissful vacation filled with ocean waves and epic sunsets.
As I think about all that has transpired since my last post,
I realize that it is time for a shift-six years ago this blog started as a place to document the moments and
the milestones- first words, Lila’s weight and height.Today we begin a new chapter.I have promoted Lila.When I took on a new role with my company
last year Greg and I discussed how we would need to work harder than ever to
balance work and life, what I did not consider then was the role that Lila
would play in this team effort.When
Lila was young, a very wise parent (how I wish I could remember who) said to me,
“when you want your child to do something- make them feel like you need them on
the team…..make it a game.”When Lila
was very young and we were trying to get out of the door in the morning – we
would do just that.I would tell Lila
that she needed to be on our team and boy did she jump in.Now as the shot clock seems to be ticking
louder than ever we have asked Lila to step up and she has become our MVP.When the alarm goes off in the morning we all
hit the court and our littlest player knows her position and where to play.I come downstairs to a girl not only ready
for school- but a girl who has put her breakfast dishes in the sink, brushed
her teeth, coat on and ready to hit it.Now, yes we do live in the reality that some days the wheels fall off, but the big
win is that our little girl has advanced her position and recognizes the heavy
role she plays in our family dynamic.
The shifting dynamic I witness each day is also filtered by
the new dimensions I see emerging in our little girl.Whether she is grabbing the microphone for an
impromptu rap or tickling the ivories on our new piano, music has found its way
into Lila’s daily rhythm.At our most
recent meeting with Lila’s teacher we were informed that when Lila doesn’t feel
like focusing on the assignment at hand she often just starts singing- it seems
to be her Zen- we just need to help her channel it.In her weekly piano lessons I have learned
from her instructor Larry, that Lila, while still fresh to the keys, seems to be
particularly good at picking out her own tunes.So what an appropriate surprise, that when In honor of black history
month, when each of the girl’s in the SCH 1st grade class will be assuming
the role of an African American figure, Lila was given Alicia Keyes- a bit of a lucky
draw for a girl, who at least for now, is most happy when she is singing.
I will continue to track Lila’s growth chart- a little while
longer (or as long as she will let me keep it on her wall), but now the growth
is so much more than numbers and words.It is watching Lila learn how to read words and music, tie her shoes,
and land a cartwheel.It is hearing her
songs, laughter and her questions about everything from God to electricity, and
also realizing that Lila has begun to learn things that she now teaches me.
So while it has been awhile, I will leave it with this, while
like all parents we have days where Lila pushes us beyond places we thought she
ever would, and challenges our patience to its limits, I am grateful for all of
the moments, for it is the tough ones that make us treasure the sweet.In the hectic hurry hurry, when it sure doesn’t
feel like a game, there is no one more I would rather have on my team then
Lila.
