Weathering the Storm

Having just finished uploading the past two months of photos I am conflicted.  Caught in the before of the sunny orchard and harvest pumpkins and the after of the ravaged coastline and all that was swept away. As the holiday swirl has reached full tilt I find myself torn between letting myself surrender to the celebration of the season and the reality of the recovery that surrounds us.  Lila’s school sits about fifty yards from the Hudson River- after 25 years Pallisades Child Care moved to a beautiful new location- five weeks before Sandy made landfall.  Unfortunately the still shiny school took on almost three feet of water and was closed for a month. It was heartbreaking to see the damage- and a parking lot full of storm-ravaged toys and child-sized furniture which barely had time to be broken-in.  Patty, our school director came within inches of losing her entire home when the Hackensack River crested on the steps of her front porch and rescue boats docked at her door.  Of course this story is one of many, my dear friend Elizabeth’s family home of five decades in Rockaway will most likely never be lived in again, the stories go on and so we count our blessings.

The lens through which I view what I pray will be the storm of our lifetime is of course filtered by Lila.  We left that morning after the storm – uncertain as to when our power and heat would be back- decisions made differently because of her- signs had been put up on the roads blaring “GO HOME”  - it was a surreal ride up to Connecticut – but a parental exhale to arrive at friends and comfort.  Lila understands that a storm came and that her school had to be fixed.  Routine went out the window but we certainly made some great memories cobbling together a patchwork quilt of working from home and the rescue of Grandma and Grauntie Laurie.  We even managed to squeeze in Halloween and though the doors passing out candy were sparse daddy and our little rocker made a spirited game of searching out the doors with “trick or treat” signs. 

We are grateful that the family weekend planned for months- was not thwarted by Sandy and we found out what a nimble group we are- even with a baby, toddler and “tween.”  The holidays will be different this year and if it weren’t for Lila I would probably be trying to convince Greg that we should cancel Christmas, donate and volunteer.  But of course we do have Lila so we will continue to support the recovery while remembering how much we have to celebrate.  Sandy took so much- and while we still have yet to realize the full toll, the communal resilience and stories of the everyday heroes fuel the collective spirit of recovery. Lila’s school re-opened last week to a rousing dance party drop-off reception led by Guitar Bob.  I have always been a proud of how this vulnerable but mighty city rebounds.   Lila may be too young to remember Sandy but I know she will be stronger for weathering this storm.

 

What’s New:  “Lila, who is our President?”  Lila, “Rock o Ma Ma Ma.”  We took advantage of the storm sabbatical to work on potty training- we are getting there!  Lila is a motor mouth and performs regular soliloquies- we are not always sure what language she is speaking.  She follows good hygiene and puts her sock “gloves” on her hands prior to changing her babies.  Lila and Daddy toss the pigskin around and Lila shows promise- with a decent arm for a two year old – Sunday afternoons include Lila assuming the 3-point stance then running to the front door and yelling “touchdown!” 

At 2 years and 4+ months Lila is 34.5” tall and 26 pounds.

Our Friday Night Lights

It has been a long time since I have felt the electricity of a high school football game.  The lights, the smell of popcorn, and the cheer of  the parents, many undoubtedly reliving their own glory days, all backdrop for the familiar stage upon which those golden moments are played on countless fields  across the country every  autumn Friday night.  With a stroke of “calendar- fortune” Lila and I were in Middlebury, VT visiting on the very day that Jack Rizzo would take the stage as his fourth grade team was set to scrimmage on the high school field at halftime.  As Kelly, Henry and I walked into the stands to find seats with Matt, we were suddenly riding a wave of anticipation as the fighting Middlebury Tigers led the game closing in on the half.  We took a quick walk down the sidelines to wish good luck to the young stars of the night.  Jack in all of his gear was genuinely happy to see us and swooped up his little cousin to proudly introduce her to his team.  It was a moment for the ages, when with a snap Jack transformed in front of his aunt’s eyes from a little boy into a young man- confident and strong and ready to take his place on the field.

Returning to our seats as the half ticked down- Lila and Henry had ants of excitement crawling out of their pants- actually we all did.  Finally the moment came- over the loudspeaker the 4th grade team was introduced onto the field.   Under the lights each eager young player was called and then there he was number eight, “Jack Russo” (clearly the announcer was so excited he flubbed a few names). With the authority of a seasoned quarterback, number eight took his lead on the field and kicked off the ball to start the scrimmage.  We cheered yelled, ran out the iPhone video memory and snapped countless photos.  There was no official captain for the team- but Jack seemed to assume the role- holding his hands up to the crowd to rouse their applause, rallying his team and leading them off the field.  Score wasn’t kept and while likely most of the crowd was at the concession stand during this halftime showdown, for those who watched it was the game of the night- when a group of young boys, many sure to be future gridiron champions, experienced their first taste of the magic of a Friday night field.

As we all got in the car still high as kites reliving the night, when asked what he thought of the scrimmage Henry gave the night a resounding, “A5!” When words can’t describe the thrill of one family’s small town Friday night football victory, the original high scoring of a proud younger brother seemed to sum it all up.

Two for the Road

July, 2012

Dear Lila,

Happy 2^nd Birthday to you our little toddler! You have grown into such a bundle of energy and personality.  I just read the letter your Dad and I wrote to you before you were born, it is nearly impossible to imagine life before you.  You are quite simply a miracle to us and every day provides a new window into your developing self.  The canvas of Lila is filling in with brushstrokes of vivaciousness, curiosity, compassion, and humor.  You have such an impact on everyone you meet- you are our little social butterfly- flitting from place to place and leaving your impression.

We promised to take you places and expose you to as much as possible- you are earning your wings with plane rides to Chicago and Virginia to visit our family and an upcoming trip to Michigan this fall.  You have made it to nine US states, gone swimming in the Atlantic with your cousins and built sandcastles along its seashore.  You have an insatiable appetite for food and adventure- always asking for more.  Our journey has only just begun.

Our daily routine, while constantly evolving, anchors us and you have excelled in your school, learning to count to ten in English and Spanish and developing an explosive vocabulary. The days of keeping track of your “new words” are no more.  Your associations and memory often leave us awe-struck.  As your great-grandfather Finney would have proclaimed, your brain is a sponge.  While we miss you every day when we go our separate ways your growing independence reaffirms our decision to enroll you at Palisades.  We left you for the first night earlier this summer for a weekend with Grandma Cathy and you didn’t miss a beat.  We can take you most any place and you rarely shy away from new faces and places.  Whether it is neighbors, the waiter at the sushi restaurant, or parents at school everyone seems to remember you with affection.

We enrolled you at the Little Gym last year and you will return this fall- while we go just one day a week- you so enjoy tumbling and flipping. You hang from the uneven bars, have mastered the forward roll and run across the balance beam.  It will be such a thrill to see what new skills await this year in your beginning dance session.  Our impromptu dance parties at home have certainly added some interesting moves to your repertoire.

We have so much to look forward to, you bring joyfulness to our hearts and coming home to you is the best part of our day.  Your smile could light the night sky and your kisses and hugs, of which there is never a shortage, are magical.  With your blond hair, blue eyes and those playground scrapes and bruises, you are our diminutive but spirited adventurer always running and climbing.  The world in indeed your oyster- keep diving deep little girl!

We love you to the moon and back.

Your Mom and Dad

Independence Day

The Virginia BBQ

As we celebrate our nation's birthday, it is hard to believe we are also planning for Lila's big number 2!  Like most mothers I reflect on her short little life and at the same time marvel at the big changes that have morphed our bouncing baby girl into a blossoming toddler.  We can no longer keep lists of "Lila's words" as there are too many to count.  I am grateful for the summer slow down that has enabled me to spend more time with our "Little Miss Independence," who along with many newly acquired skills, now feeds herself, opens the front door and creates long stretches of imaginary play with dress-up and caring for her "babies."

We welcomed the early June summer with a visit to my family's original hometown of Virginia, Illinois for the annual barbecue celebration, where we had a wonderful visit with Grandma Donna and even made the cover of the local paper.  There is nothing better to mark the beginning of lazy days then to leave the city hustle and bustle behind in exchange for a welcome dose of small-town stroll.  Carnival rides, kettle korn and homemade pie are just the ticket for the greatest escape.

For our local escape we are grateful for the pool that is just outside our door.  Last year's waterbaby is now a fearless fish, jumping off the side of the pool and scampering up the ladder.  I try to hold on tight in all senses of the word to little Lila, savoring the moments when she still wants to curl up in my arms, especially her newly discovered love of back scratches which provides happiness for us both. 

We were at an event last week and one of my single friends asked if I ever get tired of chasing Lila.  While there are times where I may wish she would slow down, I remind myself that these early days of independence are just the beginning and I savor every moment.  When we went to Virginia, Lila's little feet re-traced steps my feet took at the same age, many of them taken holding the hand of my grandfather.  While Lila will never know her great-grandfather David, by taking her to visit the same place that holds such precious memories for me, it is the closest I can get her to the magic of the man who proved if we encourage our children's independence they will go far but still enjoy the journey back home. 

What's new:  Lila can count to ten, runs very fast, loves taking care of her "babies," graduated from her first season of the Little Gym in early June having mastered the forward role and hanging from the bars, and will return in the fall for "Twinkle Toes" which is introductory dance.  And finally, while we have no idea who taught her- Lila has mastered the fist pump. Food:  Despite her petite stature, Lila's insatiable appetite continues and there is little that doesn't appeal to her little palate! Favorites- Vegetable dumplings (has been known to eat five in one sitting), vegetable meatballs, corn on the cob, black beans and corn, eggs, roasted potatoes- and everything with a little spice!

Playing Politics

As our toddler grows, her world turns and and new paths are forged.  Lila tests boundaries daily and challenges her comfort zone, and in turn we do our best to stand back and allow her space to roam.  With our little girl sailing into 21 months we have settled into a trusted routine of work and school.  And while there have been little bumps along the road we are fortunate that Lila is thriving and growing under the watchful eye of her teachers and the camaraderie of her classmates.

Maybe it is because Lila has learned to "play nice in the sandbox," that we feel so comfortable putting her in diverse social situations.  So we go to the neighborhood playground, holiday and birthday parties and "mix-it-up" whenever possible. It was during one of these outings a few weeks ago that our game changed.  Greg was working late so I took Lila to our regular playground, she was climbing up the slide and taking turns with another younger boy who, just learning to walk, was being led by his mother.  Lila and the boy shared the fun and soon he leaned in to hug her which seemed quite sweet until I heard my little girl shriek.  This little boy had Lila's entire cheek in his mouth and was biting down- it happened in a split second all while I was within arm's reach.  English was not the first language of the boy's mother so suddenly I found myself thrust into the rawest of maternal reactions, further compounded by another mother's struggle to express her sincerest apology.  Lila's skin wasn't broken so I knew the best thing was to get her home and get ice on her blazing cheek. 

Lila's cheek turned black and blue and the bite marks were prominent the next morning but but they faded after a few days.  So damage done, we move on and a lessons are learned. I could have gotten angry in that moment but my immediate reaction was tempered by the realization that the other mother was also in pain. While she struggled to find the words, we didn't need to speak the same language for me to understand what was written so clearly on her face, the heart of that little boy's mother ached for my little girl and that was enough. We all learned lessons that day, Lila still points to her cheek and says, "baby not nice," I have learned that as a mother, accidents will happen right in front of us, and as parents we need to do our best to prevent them, protect our children and all play nice.

Lila's words/phrases:  "not nice", "I don't know," "what's this?, " A,B,C's, (said while slapping her hands on her legs) car, show, shoes, milk, pants, "muumus" (muffins), socks, "ack" (Jack), outside, milk, eggs, eat, book, night-night, wet, mess, ball, keys, mine!

What's New:  we enrolled Lila in the Little Gym in February- so every Saturday am at 8:45am we start our day with running, jumping and tumbling- fun for the whole family.  Lila is also quite the dancer- she likes to shake it and the girl's got rhythm- we have regular dance-offs. Lila also has developed a repertoire of walks, gallops and skips and she can also run very fast- especially when running from mom and dad.  When coming to and from the car, Lila insists upon carrying the keys and had grown quite proficient in operating the automatic lock on the key chain.



the bite



Child's Play

Big Girl Bed

The crib is gone.  The ultimate "bringing home baby" destination has been replaced by a big girl bed and our baby has officially graduated to toddler status.  Little Lila has suddenly morphed into Lila Long Legs and boy can she move.  So much to see and so much to do.  Dancing, singing, both accompanied by a babbling brook of new words and expressions.  Whether row, row, rowing her boat, exclaiming "oh my" with hands to cheeks, or racing down the hallway, there is seldom a dull moment. Suddenly we are all kids again- we have license to break into silly dance parties, smoosh our faces and giggle.  As late bloomer parents we can only consider this a bonus round.  This afternoon Greg, had to beg me to stop singing a song from the recent Muppet movie- meanwhile he begins most days with a rousing round of "Here we go, go go on and adventure" Dr. Seuss style.

So our adventure continues- with surprises at every turn and our life has never felt more full.  

Lila's Words:  hi, bye, mama, dada, Lila, banana (nana), water "wa-wa", Elmo (of course), cheese, milk, up, please, I know, nose, eyes, elbow, off, cold, hot, bubbles, car, apple 
What's New: Self-feeding, changing diapers on her stuffed animals, picking out clothes and shoes, climbing up and down steps, brushing her own teeth, sliding down the slide at school and on the playground, loves to help clean and unload the diswasher!  Favorite songs: Row, Row, Your Boat and Itsy Bitsy Spider
Eating:  Everything!  Lila's voracious and spicy appetite continues- last night she shared some of our Indian- Aloo Tikki (potatoes/chickpeas) and Channa Masala (chickpeas in curry) and she also loves vegetable dumplings, edamame, crabcakes, most vegetables (spinach, peas, squash, beans).  Everyday favorites include- Cinnamon swirl bread, bananas, applesauce, Cheerios and clementines.  We cross our fingers that Lila's love of food exploration continues to flourish!

Lila's Love

"Oh No" with Grams

Lila Long Legs

Impromptu "bath"- diaper and all