Setting the Home Table: Swings

November 2022

“How do you like to go up in a swing,
Up in the air so blue?
Oh, I do think it the pleasantest thing
Ever a child can do!”- Robert Louis Stevenson

Dear 12-Year-Old Girl,

Last night I took a little swing, on the swing set we bought you for your 5th birthday. The backyard anchor that has been the setting for many a toe-tip into the trees and your special spot, for both quiet imagination and all kinds of friend frolic. As I swung under the stars last night, I thought about the eight years of moments shared, and all the growing that has happened in this little corner of your world. I wonder what goes through your head when I hear you singing loud or watch you being quiet.

As you enter this twelfth year, we all swing, between the branches that connect all that is growing in you. We have moments when you are very much that five-year-old girl in her Sophia the First pajamas, taking your first swing, and those when you challenge us to take our deepest breaths as you test your growing self.

This year has marked the return to some semblance of structure- after a year and a half of intermittent in-person and virtual. As you begin 7th grade, I think back on all you have accomplished and the independence you continue to embrace. Whether coyly playing Sally in “You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown,” or working tirelessly to advance to the next level in the Philadelphia Girls’ Choir, you have shown us that you know what needs to get done and how to balance. While there were certainly many days where homework, after school sports and music lessons collided and left us all spinning, and often doors slamming, somehow, we always find our way back to center.

As we spent the last day of summer soaking every last minute up at the pool and the Labor Day festivities, I asked if you would be okay if I took the traditional first day of school “chalkboard/front step photo,” the same one we have taken since your started pre-K during our inaugural fall on Woodbrook Lane. Still wet from the pool, you smiled and said, “sure Mom, it doesn’t bother me.” A few words that rolled so easily from your mouth and straight into my heart. The arc of your words has reached new heights and often challenges us both and we find ourselves tightening our emotional roller coaster seat belts. As I look back on these posts, written over twelve years of ups and downs, I marvel at your bounce. Your ability to literally swing from one thing to the next and continue to climb even after you fall is truly your superpower.

Last night as we were coming home from dinner, we pulled up your end of year talent show performance on my phone, I am still in awe of your 11-year-old self, firmly planted in the center of the stage in a Grammy performance-worthy costume belting out “You Belong to Me” in front of the entire school. You don't like to watch it because you think you “messed-up” but what I see is a brave and talented girl, commanding one heck of a presence.

Sitting here on this fall Saturday as you still sleep, I am thankful for the moments we have had this past year, a year that felt like a speed race catch up. Whether it be seeing you on stage at the talent show in your purple bodysuit belting our Taylor Swift, or in your formal Philadelphia Girls' Choir gown, singing soprano in perfect harmony, there have been so many exhales of gratitude for these experiences.

As you shared with me the “I Am” poem you were working on for English, in which you wrote about the special places in the house and our yard and the swings, it was like we were swinging together in perfect rhythm. These days, as you balance all that is changing in your head and body, we of course are not always in perfect rhythm- and while it often feels like your head is flying off your body directly at me, we somehow always right the ship and sail on.

"I Am" Poem

Our sails were given much wind this past year as our family made up for two years of travel put on hold and rescheduled. We returned to our pandemic-discovered Hilton Head, this time adding the Holy “Bless Your Heart,” City of Charleston to our travels, exploring and eating up the low country charm and cuisine.

Charleston, SC

Your young passport gained a few long-awaited stamps as we traversed oceans and rivers. First heading to Central America for our Fam Jam in Costa Rica. Grauntie pulled off quite the grand voyage across the country as we went from the southern beaches of Playa Conchal to the lush tropical rain forest in the shadow of the great Arenal volcano. We were treated to epic adventures – sailing on a catamaran, floating down the Penas Blancas River searching for the lazy sloths as we, like them, laid back and soaked up the warmth from the shimmering tree canopy and the serenade of the jungle birds. Our adventures continued as we navigated the hanging bridges, and we will never forget watching you zip-lining- 600 feet above the rain forest floor with Zac like a little monkey on your back.

Our globetrotting continued when we took off on our 2nd European adventure together, at a time when flying is certainly not for the faint of heart with all of the delays and cancellations, we felt the travel fairy's presence throughout our epic trip, especially when our flight to London took off by the skin of its tail after a nail biter six-hour delay. Our travel weary selves were welcomed by the site of Miss Kira as she picked us up at Heathrow and shared the joyous news of her “baby on the way”- a little sister for Harrison! We had a wonderful three days in London- sharing pub treats and snuggles with Harrison, twirling through the Royal Gardens at Kew with Kira, taking in sublime shopping at Harrods, Liberty and exploring the wonders at the Museum of Natural History.

Then across the channel we trained aboard the Eurostar, once again feeling our fairy companions as we navigated a British rail strike. Arriving safely and swiftly in Paris, we made our way to Miss Liz’s beautiful apartment with soaring ceilings and windows and a perfect balcony seat for perching and watching the street sites below. We roamed the charming streets, took in the Musee D’Orsay, tripped the light fantastic with our Eifel Tower picnic and ate and drank the most delicious of French cuisine and wine. Our journey and celebration continued as we began our driving tour up to Normandy and the idyllic seaside resort of Deauville. As we breathed in the delightfully briny sea air, we explored the magnificent beach, and the eclectic shops.

Onward we went, with Miss Liz expertly navigating the narrow and winding country roads across France to Bruges, Belgium. It felt like we were driving into another world as we pulled up to our enchanting hotel, a former palace, now our magical home for three days, complete with a sleeping loft fit for a queen- or in this case two sleeping beauties. Such a wonderous tour of sensory delights, the lyrical church bells serenaded us as we explored the magnificent medieval architecture amidst the winding canals. Our palettes were treated to delicious frites, cheese, chocolate and what seemed like every sweet and savory treat in between. Our cups were overflowing as we waved Vaarwell to beautiful Bruges.

Bruges

Amsterdam

Our European whirl ended in Amsterdam where we were humbled by our tour of the Anne Frank Museum and then transported as we lost ourselves in the life and prolific art of Van Gogh. A boat ride through the canals as the sun set on the magnificent city of winding waterways and streets was the perfect serenade to our epic European adventure.

Amsterdam

Our make-up travel year allowed for no moss as within a mere two weeks after our return from abroad we were off to another seashore. Celebrating the July birthdays of you and Alexandra, your Pre-K buddy and pea in a pod. Off we went back to our favorite Cape Cod spot, nestled on glistening Old Silver Beach. What a golden delight to watch you share your special place, the one filled with so many special moments, and to watch you together frolic in the ocean and bask in breathtaking sunsets.

Summer 2022 will always be remembered as the one where we packed in what seemed like every weekend and extended when we could to make up for lost time. Fresh back from the Cape we began preparing for our Fam Jam! With the Beards in from Michigan, Kelly, and Jack down from Vermont, we watched our Cubs and Phils, slipped and slid into a backyard epic water fight and savored the soaking of every moment of our epic Jam.

August kept us moving with your return to Camp Tockwogh, where you happily reunited with your old friends (I am not sure you even know we left) and came home with new. Back on the Chesapeake, you rode the waves and onshore worked on your equestrian skills. While the two weeks went fast, not seeing you or hearing your voice made for some hard days and but also led to the sweetest reunion. More swings between the holding on tight, while letting you go a little more.

Our cherry on top of a summer for the books came with Grauntie's visit and our road trip up to historic Saratoga Springs. Aunt Kelly and Grama joined the fun as we placed our bets and anxiously awaited those thundering hooves to come around the stretch.

What a year and summer it has been as we now have slid back into the quotidian routine of school, sports, lessons, and hurry. Another year of stretching your body and mind in new ways and adding new adventures.

And so here we are, swinging between the branches of little and big. How do you describe a girl who with her long legs, still finds her way into your lap, and like a toddler nestles her head just so, and then the next moment pushes you away and asks for “space,” while whipping that same head away? The girl who still begs for tickles and disappears for hours in her room.

There's that moment, when you swing so high the swing jerks - almost like you hit a big bump, maybe it's actually more of a skip than a bump. We are in the big skips, jerks and bumps. We can be swinging along, and then all of a sudden, we careen into a whirling dervish of, fasten your seat belt, and grab a helmet emotion. As a mother I often think this may be what divides us and but, in my heart know, this will be what binds us. For it’s the hairpin turns that challenge us to grow, find new ways to navigate and when necessary, course correct.

Here is my promise to you, my twelve-year-old girl. I will always do my best to swing with you, while we won't always swing in the same rhythm and certainly won't always be in sync, I will always hang in that seat with you, by your side. And here is what I ask of you...

Keep your eyes and toes pointed to the tip top of the trees. As you climb, remember what is really important. Get in front of the “sorrys” so they don't need to be said. Apologies are for accidents not for things we have the ability to control. Make your bed and hang up your wet towels. Say thank you, and not just for the things that come wrapped with bows, but for the little things and gestures that surround you every day. Challenge yourself to be better than you were yesterday. Write neatly and take your time. Speak slowly and remember your words are valuable and meaningful- use them thoughtfully. Keep singing and practicing piano, your musical talent is a gift that you must continue to nurture. Snuggle with Tigs and Pigs. Say hello first. Before you think about what you want, and need, remember how much you have and all you have to give.

Your confidence and consideration of others, interwoven with your quick wit, is a powerful combination and will serve you well. Keep swinging high sweet girl and know that whether in the back yard or far away we will always have your back.

Love,

Your Mom and Dad

*I started writing this in September, published in November. It's taking me longer to capture all that is you..