Setting the Home Table: Your Song

But you've gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along"… Cass Elliot

Dear 14-Year-Old Girl,

Here we are, poised at the culmination of an epic summer of journey and growth, springboarding you into 9^th grade and Upper School. As I sit here this Sunday on the patio, one of the neighbors is running up and down the back alley as his young daughter learns to ride her bike, just as we did almost ten years ago. The metaphors are powerful this late summer morning, removing training wheels, finding balance, and the continued shift of our parental voice from telling you to slow down to instilling in you the wherewithal to know for yourself when you need to apply the brakes.

Perhaps it was putting you on the plane across the Atlantic without us that forced your dad and I to trust that our voices and influence were packed along with everything else. I have written in the past about you spreading your wings and taking big jumps but this year you leapt. This was the summer you were gone like never before. The precursor for what will be in four short years. As we pack you up for the inaugural kick-off to Upper School, where you will head to the woods for a week with Outward Bound, you will once again be gone and on your own. On this ultimate bonding expedition, you and your advisory group will learn how to work together as a team and support one another to navigate the new challenges and opportunities of Upper School. Of course, it seems like yesterday when we were picking out your first sneakers, now those same feet, grown to the same size as mine, will be hiking and finding their footing along the Appalachian Trail.

En Route to Budapest!

On the Outward Bound Appalachian Trail

This past year you and your new adventures have taken you from the castles of Budapest and cathedrals of Vienna, to the waters of the Chesapeake and the Spanish Mediterranean. You have grown and stretched your independence and fueled your confidence. The opportunity to travel with the Philadelphia Girl’s Choir on the European summer tour, will forever be remembered as the seminal moment in which you literally elevated your voice, the beautiful voice that is all your own. We joke that last fall when they announced the tour, the moment they asked for those interested to sign up, before even discussing with us, you had submitted your name.

Setting Sail on the Chesapeake

Budapest!

World Travelers

As I do every year, I pulled out the letter we wrote to you the day before you were born, filled with so much anticipation and promise to do our best to provide you experiences with the intention that they inspire your own passions. It is hard to point to the exact moments that have fueled your determination and keen sense of self. Perhaps it was those early toe dips in the Atlantic that have translated into your sharp sailing skills and finesse in righting your boat when it “turtles.” The note from your camp counselor calling you a sailing “bad ass” will remain on the kitchen bulletin board for a bit. I also wonder if it was that first trip to Europe when you were seven, trekking across “the pond” and down to the Mediterranean where you frolicked in the sea, that played a role in your anxious desire to travel with your choir. Additionally, I wonder if it is those trips that may have influenced your sophisticated style for iconic brands that for better or worse, have found their way into your closet at a very early age. When we pull up old photos with the scarves tied around your neck, berets, and bangles galore, while you roll your eyes, it is clear your fashion flair emerged early and has continued to evolve. When I was your age, I certainly had no idea who Louis was and Gucci was just expensive perfume, you however, navigate comfortably through vintage, and have quite an appreciation for statement pieces. Your style is a reflection of your confidence and firm sense of knowing who you are, even if you are soon going to need to get a job to support your habit.

The Gucci bags.. procured in Prague

Louis In Paris

We continue to log those airline miles and passport stamps. Both domestic and abroad. Last January we were finally able to return to the Happiest Place on Earth. A very special Christmas present made even more magical with your buddy Leila joining us for a whirlwind tour of the Magic Kingdom, Epcot and Hollywood Studios. While a bit chilly, that didn’t stop you two from making a splash at the Wilderness Lodge and all of us from spinning, dipping and speeding through the epic Disney journey and all of its thrills.

We made it to Disney!

The Perfect View

Our travels continued with Spring break this year bringing us back to Paris to stay with Miss Liz in her beautiful apartment with Eifel Tower views. We explored new places like the magnificent Palace of Versailles and the stunning Dior Museum. After walking past Notre Dame, as she nears her return to greatness, we dove into one of the iconic Paris markets where I found some blue and white and we struck a deal for your Burberry jean jacket. After twirling down the Champs-Elysees and much fabulous dining, it was on to another country stamp for your passport. We hopped a quick flight and landed in the beautiful sea-side town of Valencia, Spain on the east coast of the Iberian Peninsula. With a long and rich history and endless culinary delights, including the iconic paella, which we enjoyed on the beach at Casa Carmela, we savored every delicious bit. Another very special European journey with discovery and appreciation of new cultures and countries together.

Paris Courtyard

Lila in Paris

Valencia

Valencia Seashore

Paella at Casa Carmela

Thinking back on all that filled this past year, what I most cherish is the moments of pause. The weeks go so fast and now in Upper School with sports until 6pm every night, we search for stolen blocks of time to come together to “watch something” and snuggle up on the couch. We are currently watching Friday Night Lights, a classic and with 76 episodes we have a lot of couch runway. I hope we finish before you head off to college. Our home time is made sweeter and more delicious with your continued love of cooking and baking. In reading your “before you were born” letter, I wrote about taking you to farmer’s markets. Somewhere between these markets and lots of time with us in the kitchen and many restaurants, your love for food brings me endless joy. You are such a conscientious and healthy eater, but you also savor your treats – balancing bowls of broccoli, and pineapple with your candy drawer.

Paris

Christmas Morning

Thanksgiving Prep

These moment of pause also bring opportunity to reflect on all you have achieved and the hours of dedication you invest in cultivating your talents and refining your focus. The stage remains a familiar and comfortable place for you. Since those early days of being the youngest to ascend to the Summer Camp talent show to confidently at age four literally pull a rabbit out of a hat, you continue to find your spotlight. In this year’s middle school production of Beauty and the Beast you brought Mrs. Potts to life, charming and comforting Belle, and little Chip, and casted a spell on us all with your enchanting voice, mesmerizing presence, and perfect spout.

The Perfect Mrs. Potts

Leila and Lila (Belle and Mrs. Potts)

This was a year of much stage time, from holiday performances with the Philly Girl’s Choir, including accompanying the Philadelphia Ballet’s Nutcracker, as well as the inauguration of Philadelphia’s first female Mayor Cherelle Parker, all the way to the trip of a lifetime for your first Tour to Budapest and Vienna. With an itinerary full of cultural immersion from your Budapest host choir, workshops and performances in iconic churches, cruising down the Danube then on to Vienna, you all sang and twirled your way through some of the most dazzling European cities and venues. Like choir groupies, Miss Liz, Daddy, and I sought you out in Vienna and were able to find our way into the official Summa Cum Laude International Music Festival competition. What a thrill to see you perform, and even though your acknowledgement of us was reduced to a discreet nod as you walked by, your sweet smile provided us all we needed. The thrills continued seeing you perform again at The Hofburg Palace, and the exquisite St Peter’s Church, in all of its Baroque magnificence, an absolutely surreal experience. After the conclusion of your official tour, we scooped you up, along with your dear friend Chloe, and her mom, to head on to Prague to explore the magic of one of Europe’s best-preserved and oldest cities.

Performing with the Philadelphia Ballet Nutcracker

Vienna- St Peters

With Chloe

Our Sweet Soprano

Prague

Prague Frolic

We are living the big years my sweet girl, the experiences, the travel, the learning. Years when every day and week overflow with both the quotidian hustle and full calendar. And with the big years comes the stretch of you pulling, needing us still but in different and less expected ways. You are going your own way and while it is hard for me to let go, I hang on to the knowing that your way has been shaped by us. There comes a time when every mother needs to say, “okay I have given you all I have and now I both entrust in and trust you.”

As you continue to test the boundaries, which include not always talking to me as much, I trust you. When you roll your eyes and put your air pods in, I trust you. When I ask you too many questions, know it is because I care so much. When I send you the photos of little you that pop up on my phone, know that they pull at my heart because I miss those days and that is okay, because without those days we would not have these days. You are fourteen and like a cannonball, you have catapulted from the little girl on the swing to a young adult writing your name in the sky. There are days when I miss that little girl, and the tears come because you now have the power to illicit emotions, I never knew I had. Emotions that are so deep and complex and layered in both memories and thoughts of the future. As we watched you walk across the stage of your 8^th grade graduation, so beautiful in your white dress and flower crown, my heart overflowed with thoughts of all you have accomplished and the trailblazer you are. You have a resilience, that like a pearl in an oyster, becomes more lustrous the more it tumbles. You lean in, and while you might stumble and fall you do not stay down for long.

8th Grade Graduate!

The Fabulous Four

You and Me,
Paris, April, 2024

So, to you our growing girl, as the August when I first began this note to you has now turned to November, know this - the world is your oyster, continue to pry it open in your own unique ways. In a world that goes faster every day, find your own speed and calibrate. Keep singing your own special song and writing your own script. We are here for you always, as your number one fans and groupies. And whether you need us to play a leading role in certain things or decisions, or just hang in the wings, we will be here cheering you along as you continue singing and growing.

Love,

Your Mom and Dad

The Year in Review...More Moments...